I think it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that women along with wider society prefer taller men when it comes to nearly every aspect of life. Countless research studies have proved taller men to be perceived as being more confident, powerful, competent and displaying more leadership qualities than their shorter counterparts.
Naturally, a lot of the dating advice for shorter men out there tends to focus on developing confidence, intelligence and a strong personality which are all without a doubt, very important. This is because women also have quite an obvious preference for men who are more intelligent than them, and this is one of the best ways to satisfy their biological need to (generally) seek partners that have more status, power and/or wealth than themselves.
To have an extensive and varied knowledge base, quick witted humour and a sharp mind would make a woman want to look up to you (figuratively speaking) and admire you. It also exemplifies that you’re going to be a good provider and a good father to any potential children which furthermore makes you desirable in her eyes.
A personable and intelligent man is one who would be expected to be capable of easily making social bonds, outwitting enemies, problem solving in tricky situations and making himself valuable in any group he finds himself in. However, being a provider is only one side of the coin because a woman is not only going to be attracted to you because of a beautiful mind, but you have to have a beautiful body as well.
If you’re an intelligent man, a woman logically knows that she would want to pursue a romantic relationship with you because that’s advantageous to her and her survival prospects, but intelligence in isolation is not enough to stimulate genuine sexual attraction because sexuality is not quite cognitive but more emotional and sensual.
She may admire you and tell herself that she should be attracted to you, but ultimately, may be drawn to a man who is far less intelligent but more physically attractive or perhaps even taller. So if you’re looking to really maximise your chances in terms of attracting women, you really have to consider your own relationship with your body.
Now, I’m personally a big fan of weightlifting, less so for the physical benefits but more so for the emotional and mental benefits it provides me. It makes me feel strong, agile, capable of dealing with both physically and mentally stressful situations and helps me feel good about myself. But I’m not going to lie, it’s nice walking out of the shower after a particular long stretch of eating right and training hard and seeing a pretty chiseled physique in the mirror.
But I’m not going to tell you to simply start visiting your closest iron temple, slapping those plates on your Bench Press, Squat and Deadlift and to then down whey protein shakes that make you excessively flatulent. That would be far too simplistic.
The truth is that women’s relationship with the male body is a lot more complex and nuanced than that. Some women do love that tall, bodybuilder, Chris Hemsworth look, but there are women that are also attracted to relatively skinny guys or guys who are shorter than them. On the whole, the research does show that women prefer taller men with muscles (although you can go too far with it) but life does not always mimic this. Put down your phone and laptop and walk outside and you’ll notice that there are plenty short and skinny men with wives and girlfriends.
What I would invite you to consider is not just your physical appearance, but your relationship with your body, specifically, how confident you are in your skin. That is one factor that is absolutely universally attractive to women. Women want a man who has a really positive and confident relationship with his body. What women will not tolerate from short guys, tall guys, skinny guys or ripped guys is a man who is awkward and uncomfortable in his own body.
Do you remember that kid back in your High School gym class that just did not seem coordinated and it seemed that there was a blatant disconnect between his mind and body that just caused him to look odd in his body? That’s what I’m talking about. Even if you aren’t 5 Foot 10 and above or have a body that easily packs on muscle, you can still work on your relationship with your body and develop a body confidence that women are going to find more attractive.
Having that positive relationship with your body involves trust and ensuring you trust your body and are confident that it is going to do what you want it to do and perform under circumstances you find yourself in. When a woman sees a man who is body confident, confident in the way he moves and the way he interacts with the world around him and it is apparent that his body is just a perfect expression of his mind – she interprets that behaviour and body confidence as indicative of him being a good lover.
Why is this important? This should be obvious to say, but sex is not a cognitive exercise. If you think that reading an online sex guide on how often to thrust into a woman and change sex positions and following these instructions fastidiously is going to make you a good lover, then you’re dead wrong. Performing well in bed as a lover is largely about trusting your body, letting go and surrendering to your instincts so that your mind is not involved and it is just a physical bodily experience.
Just in case I haven’t made myself clear enough, what I’m stressing is improving your relationship with you body and body confidence in general will have a direct positive correlation with enhanced love making skills. So if you want to have better performance in the bedroom your work starts long before you even get there – you need to be working NOW on your relationship with your body.
So what are you going to do? I’ve listed below a number of recommendations that aren’t so much geared towards improving the appearance of your body (although you’ll find that this comes naturally) but if implemented properly, should develop that body trust and confidence that I’m talking about.
1. Martial Arts – Taking up a type of martial art will not only have the benefit of improving the muscular profile of your body but martial arts also tend to have an explicit focus on quieting the mind and getting you in touch with your body. It is both a physical and a spiritual discipline that has the consequence of improving your trust with your body. This corresponds to very real life changes of how you carry yourself when you’re talking to other men, women or just walking down the street. Knowing that your body has the capacity to inflict harm (even if you still eventually lose a fight against an opponent/aggressor) and can defend yourself is going to be a massive boost to your confidence. It helps you have an intimate respect for your body knowing that it is a weapon and that you can use it to keep you safe. It is difficult to overstate just how drastic the transformation can be after a man (or woman) takes up a type of martial art and furthermore, the more time and energy you devote to that art, the better that body connection will become. So I invite you to pick from Boxing, MMA, Krav Maga and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu among many others. However, BJJ is a personal favourite given the longevity aspect of your training.
2. Competitive Sports – second on the list would be a sport that uses the full body and requires agility and quick thinking. A sport like table tennis would be better than nothing but doesn’t quite engage your whole body as much as hockey or basketball. Choose a sport that requires a high level of fitness and try and pursue it at some competitive level to force your body to react to making split second decisions, e.g. catch a ball, kick a ball, make a pass, etc. and this gives a massive boost to your body confidence.
3. The Gym (i.e. strength and cardiovascular training) – this is another good option and unlike why most people go to the gym, it does not have to be solely about appearances and looking good. Yes, women are attracted to strength so if you’ve got washboard abs and 19 inch biceps, women are going to find that sexy. But it goes much deeper than that because putting in those hours and building up your strength and endurance makes you confident in a way that you weren’t before and knowing that you can lift and move things and that your body can exert its will on the world around you in away that you couldn’t before is a marvellous turning point for your body confidence. Being that well built guy will give you a whole new level of confidence that women will pick up on as you go about your daily life.
4. Surfing/Skateboarding/Snowboarding – these sports are different from the ones mentioned in point 2. as it is less about competing with others but more about using your body to create movements that are graceful and beautiful. I can remember this time when I used to live in Devon and travel down to Cornwall for weekends and work. I would often go down to the beachers with friends and stay at this place that would attract international surfers at the tail end of summer and these guys that were walking around had fantastic body confidence. It was dangerous. Doing what they did was dangerous as they could smash into the rocks and seriously hurt themselves if they weren’t paying attention on a wave. When you are confronted with that sort of danger, you tap into a deep intuition with your body that helps you operate in these situations. Plus, you have the added benefit of these being fun and getting you in the outdoors! It’s the same case with Skiing, Skateboarding, Windsurfing and Wakeboarding.
5. Yoga – Let me address any reservations you have from the outset as I know there are some guys reading this who think that doing sun salutations in stretchy pants is not masculine. If that’s your perspective then it’s your loss because few people realise that yoga was originally created for warriors – military and spiritual – to strengthen and support their bodies during periods of intense growth and challenge. If you don’t believe me, check out this article on how US Navy SEALs among other US military units have added Yoga to their military training with a retired Navy SEAL Commander setting up his own Yoga school. Yoga not only would help improve your body confidence through increased flexibility, muscle strength and tone but also helps increase your ‘happy’ hormones, makes you more self aware and what is probably of significant importance to my readers, it can improve your posture to make you seem taller and prevent shrinking with age.
So the above are the basic suggestions I wanted to postulate. I’m definitely not suggesting that you do all of them, rather, I’d suggest you pick the one or two options that suit your personality and interests the most. What is of primary importance, is that you don’t neglect this aspect of your life and just focus on your wealth, intelligence and personality.
Take it from someone like myself who spends the vast majority of his time in his head either for my job or other intellectual pursuits – your body is a massive part of physical attraction and your existence on this planet. It’s important not to get discouraged because you’re short or if you don’t have a well coordinated or physically strong body, there is a lot you can do to give yourself an advantage. Women want to see you with trust and confidence in your body and I want you to love your body in a manner where physical expression comes effortlessly to you.